A True Story
The first community of cavemen a few million years ago, invented the process of lobbying. This is what happened.
The Leader of the cavemen and his popular assistants, were approached by the man who supplied him with the customary wooden clubs imbedded with sharp stones. He explained that he feared that other wooden club, in effect of slightly great quality than his own was being made in the caves down the road, and he was afraid that this new club would be chosen by the Cavemen's Head instead of his own.
Japanese School Girls
To attract the concentration of the Leader of the cavemen he presented him with a consolidate of his best pigs, several hens and a string of freshly caught trout. They struck a deal and thereafter he supplied the clubs to the Head caveman and the other dwellers under his leadership, who, following his guidance continued to use the customary clubs. This enabled the customary club constructor to contribute more clients in the neighboring caves and to continue production improvements to his popular stone imbedded clubs!. Of procedure he also continued to contribute the Leader Caveman with gifts that eventually included human beings of both sexes that the Head Caveman employed as servants. The rest is history.
The Senator was in a hurry. other meeting at the White House would probably take up the whole morning and he had a number of things to do. He pressed the interoffice phone system and spoke to his secretary: "Lorna, have Mickey bring today's list"
In a few moments, his Chief of Staff appeared carrying a black leather- bound three ring binder. A big smile provided some correction to his acne-pocked face.
"Senator, we hit the jackpot!"
The Senator smiled knowingly and putting his index finger in his temple said:
"I know, I Know. We have my sharp brain to thank for it!."
Mickey sat down and placed the black leather briefcase on one side of the desk. He opened it and read:
"Senator, these are the entries for only this week: A new set of golf clubs, along with the new omni-directional putter. Six pair of Rossignol skies for you and your family and the vouchers for plane transportation to Zurich, a reservation for a Eurocar with driver and a two week stay at the Palace Hotel in St. Moritz. The monorail people have sent the laptop they promised. It is a new Toshiba that includes the latest communications software, movies, television, telephone, fax, copying attachment, alarm, world clock..."
"Can the thing be used for typing letters?"
"I don't know. But we can all the time return it and get a Smith Corona if you wish.."
"What else?"
"The Aerobics people have sent other of those walking machines. We already have three in the office plus the ones you have at home, Senator"
"Send them all back. Attach a polite note letting them know that I can only profit from Aerobics if I have a place to walk, not a walking machine, for Chrissakes! They know all about the ranch in Wyoming that my wife and I like so much. . ."
"We are getting new furniture in the office. The department Store lobby called. They have just received the French lamps and the Italian sofas. They'll be here Monday.."
"How about the media?"
"Nothing doing so far. They refuse to take the bait. Not even a ticket to a high school concert."
The senator looked at his solid gold Rolex, a small gift from a canned food processor in his state and frowned. "What does the President want with me today?" The appointment would keep him from seeing his tailor who -- thanks to the motorcycle relationship -- had imported several cuts of fine British and Italian woolens, alpaca mixes, gabardines and a choice piece of Vicuña that would be excellent for a top coat. He smiled at Mickey and asked him to continue.
"We have also received your lifetime passes to the Senators games, the Miami Dolphins, Notre Dame, the Orlando Bullets, Wimbledon, the Augusta Masters and the finals of the Girls National Soccer Championships in Akron, Ohio. But, wait, here comes the jackpot!"
The senator relished Mickey's enthusiasm and cheerfulness. Besides, he was a workaholic and did practically everything around the office. When it was time to send those constituent letters, Mickey was the first to start the folding, labeling and the stuffing and licking of the envelopes. And he did not have to keep him on the payroll. Mickey was a courtesy of an Hmo.
"Quick, tell me!"
"Senator, hold on to your amendments! The Japanese Electronics Group, you know, they gang Sony, Matushita, Mtsubishi, Fuji, Panasonic, Sharp, Canon, Aiwa, and a hundred others have decided to celebrate your birthday by giving you Costa Rica!"
Clean Congressional Living
ไม่มีความคิดเห็น:
แสดงความคิดเห็น